# non fish owners don't understand...



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

Am I alone in this? I was thinking about expanding my fish, and get a 2nd small 10gal tank, but hubby was quick to say no. Do you find that you SO or spouse or any other non fish owner thinks your crazy when it comes to your fish? hubby thinks Im nuts about the whole fish thing. He says Im constantly checking things with the tank, like water and stuff. I tell him its something I enjoy so leave me alone *r2


----------



## beaslbob (May 29, 2009)

danilykins said:


> Am I alone in this? I was thinking about expanding my fish, and get a 2nd small 10gal tank, but hubby was quick to say no. Do you find that you SO or spouse or any other non fish owner thinks your crazy when it comes to your fish? hubby thinks Im nuts about the whole fish thing. He says Im constantly checking things with the tank, like water and stuff. I tell him its something I enjoy so leave me alone *r2


I agree with you 100%. People simply don't get it.

I also (had) a hobby of flying model airplanes. Same thing. People who don't fly don't get it.


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

You hear of crazy cat lady... how about crazy fish lady? lol


----------



## M1ster Stanl3y (Dec 10, 2010)

my fiance thinks im nuts...but if it makes me happy she is happy with it. Our 5yr old is stoked to set up tanks with me...and i even got the fiance into picking out the new fish for our 55. just did a quick so what do you think of this fish...now she is telling me what she would want in the tank.


----------



## rtbob (Jul 18, 2010)

It is a hobby, if you have a different hobby you have no interest in aquariums. My wife happens to enjoy watching the fish. She also likes to go with me on a "fish hunt". This is when we go and buy something new.

This is why I have a Blood Parrot in my 55g community tank. The last one survived two months with my Mbuna. So far he is doin great in the 55. No one picks on him. He does have a un-wanted interest in my african clawed frog, however.

Hobbies are people specific, depending on your interests. I have found that over the 28 years me and Jen have been together it is best to take a interest, no matter how small in your partners interests.


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

I wish my husband would take an interest in it, but for right now its my son and my project. I think once we get a bigger tank he will take somewhat of an interest.


----------



## rtbob (Jul 18, 2010)

Do you show interest in his hobbies? It is a two way street.


----------



## susankat (Nov 15, 2008)

danilykins said:


> You hear of crazy cat lady... how about crazy fish lady? lol


Thats my nick name, I have 47 tanks.


----------



## rtbob (Jul 18, 2010)

OMG! 47 tanks? You need to consolidate big time. No one person can properly maintain 47 tanks even if that's all you do day and night! Sell the small tanks like I did and combine the fish (no matter what the "That fish needs a PH of 7.5 and Your PH is 8.0 crowd says"! Your fish WILL ADAPT to the parameters of your water as mine have.

Sell off the small aquariums and get a couple great big ones!


----------



## beaslbob (May 29, 2009)

susankat said:


> Thats my nick name, I have 47 tanks.


Are you starting your own army?*o2


----------



## susankat (Nov 15, 2008)

rtbob said:


> OMG! 47 tanks? You need to consolidate big time. No one person can properly maintain 47 tanks even if that's all you do day and night! Sell the small tanks like I did and combine the fish (no matter what the "That fish needs a PH of 7.5 and Your PH is 8.0 crowd says"! Your fish WILL ADAPT to the parameters of your water as mine have.
> 
> Sell off the small aquariums and get a couple great big ones!


No way, its easy maintaining them. Most of the tanks are for my breeders and fry growouts. I do have some big tanks. 3 50's a 90 and a 220. I make some decent money on my fry and they also pay for food and such.


----------



## majerah1 (Oct 29, 2010)

Trust me,Susan maintains all her tanks,lol.I know in the club,many have multiple tanks.i think greald and Kayla have close to 70?Mind you some are single betta containers,spawn tanks and growouts,lol.

yes im crazy fish lady as well.I dont have many tanks,three main ones and a few on the side.But they all have a schedule that spans over a little work eack day.It keeps me busy and the fish i have are well worth all of it.Hubbs is very kind and understanding,and my MIL even helps encourage me on some things,though no one else in the house would care less if the tanks were drained and sold.


----------



## Amie (Sep 15, 2010)

It could get worse. At least you don't have people around to make cynical little digs about your hobby. My hubby and I had TONS of fights about my tanks before I finally got him to accept them. I tried to explain to him: currently, I'm stuck as a house mom. We have 3 kids: an 8 year old girl and 18 month old twin girls. One twin is a total handful and the other is severely handicapped. So, those circumstances keep me pretty house bound. It been the first time in almost 7 years that I have not had something outside the house to occupy my time and keep me sane. So, I told him I can stay here and be the house mom and not go crazy doing it but I need the fish to help me with that. They are my 'outside the house' thing without having to be outside the house to do it. So, he finally came around about it and sometimes helps me out a little with them too. Although he has not picked out any fish that he likes he has defended some of the fish though. I had two sailfin mollys and the male was picking on the female so he would tap on the glass and try to scare him away from the female.

But, here is a good example of the attitude of his family on the subject: we ran into some financial problems not too long ago (we're at best an average income-like most people) and he asked his parents if he could borrow some money from them. After receiving an adamant 'no' his father was gracious enough to add 'you would have had money if Amie hadn't wasted it all in fish tanks this summer'. Nice huh? Not to mention that comment was spoken by a raging alcoholic who is not long out of bankruptcy where they repossessed his truck but, strangely, his alcohol consumption during that time did not decrease.......hummmm......I wonder if just maybe if he had been paying his truck loan instead of drinking then maybe he would not have had to declare bankruptcy.........but, that's all another story really. Still, it did feel good to vent about it


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

@Amie, Im in the similar boat as you. My spouse just got out of the Military and we were overseas for 5 years, and I have a 7 year old son who is on the Autistic spectrum. I haven't worked in 7 years!!!!! do you know how hard it is to find a job when you haven't worked in 7 years??? So the fish keep me occupied, the child keeps me busy, and now hubby finally found a job after looking for 4 months, and its in New Mexico, we live in Colorado! so yeah. So yeah you do what makes you feel good, and fish is it for me 

if you ever wanna talk just send me a message  Im here daily hehe

Hubby says that if I want fish stuff I have to use my money on it other than that he doesn't care. Hubby doesn't have any hobbies except playing video games and working on his PHD. I talked to him today and he said I can get a larger tank if I wanted, he suggested a 55gal, but I think I was to get larger gradually, so I think I will get a 30 gal, but I have to find one at a good price. Anyone know anyplace online? I looked at Ebay and have been looking craigslist in my area.. any other options?


----------



## Mark13 (Oct 21, 2010)

Don't go into a 30-something tank, go to a 55g or 75g. Watch craigslist every day around 10 to 11 PM. Wait for the larger-than-30-something tank to appear. You will just waste time and money on the 30-something that you could spend on a larger tank, like I did.


----------



## snail (Aug 6, 2010)

beaslbob said:


> I also (had) a hobby of flying model airplanes. Same thing. People who don't fly don't get it.


Fish are amazing, model airplanes, that's just boaring*r2 lol I'm joking! 

Just be glad you all have some one to keep you in check. I'm the one who is the most into tanks but my hubby is enthusiastic and prone to impulse buys. He already bought me a 100 gallon and a 90 gallon tank because 'it was a good deal'. The 100 gallon sits empty because we simply don't have a space that's large enough for it in our flat! And I have be firm about not getting 'that cool new fish' every time we go to a fish shop even when I really want it! It's good for my self control though lol.


----------



## chris oe (Feb 27, 2009)

How often does he check sports scores? Or sit and do a quick half hour on one of his games? lol. I am always amazed at the women I talk to who say their husbands won't "let" them do things. Husbands are partners not parents. While another tank is another piece of furniture in the house, and such additions should be agreed on jointly, it shouldn't be one partner giving the other partner verdicts.

But I agree, go to the 55 gallon. A larger tank is much easier than a smaller one, strangely enough. The water stays more stable, for one thing. And you have more room to work. See if he'll go for a nice stand with drawers and storage and all, to hide/organize all the fish clutter. Its a big help, and the tank looks even nicer. 

And when he says something about you checking your fish, ask him when the last time he turned on ESPN was.


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

I just don't feel comfortable with a 55 gallon tank. It's a bit too big for my comfort zone. I have had a 10gallon tank for the past 5 years and had a 10gal when I was a teen. We really don't have the space for a 55 gallon. We are working on getting our basement finished maybe when that is done an over with I can go large like that.


----------



## M1ster Stanl3y (Dec 10, 2010)

My stand for my 55 is 50inches...the weight you need to watch..something like 650lbs filled...if your looking for a smaller tank petsmart is having a sale last time I was on their web site...also craigslist...i scored 2 55 for $60 total...including stand filter and light


----------



## jrman83 (Jul 9, 2010)

A whole basement? That's 125 or higher territory  Actually, larger tanks are easier. A little more work, but look at it this way.....if I happen to spray an air freshner in the room my tanks are in and something gets into my 20g quarantine tank and there are fish in it, I am more likely to get deaths from that in the 20g, than in the 125g that is a few feet away. Just an example. One major issue in a small tank, can seem minor in a larger one because of the meer volume of water generally speaking anyway.


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

Yeah when my husband bought this house (I was still living overseas at the time) he bought a house with an unfinished basement *sigh* Then he separated from the military and got a large chunk of cash. We shopped around for contractors and found one we liked, we were going to spend $20k on finishing the basement the way we wanted it, but then the job hunt for hubby wasn't going well. He just paid $75k on the house yesterday because he finally found a job after 4 months of looking!! In Albuquerque, New Mexico... we live in Colorado *face palm* so I will stay here while he goes there and comes home 2 times a month, after about 6 months they said he will be able to transfer to their colorado office. SOOOO needless to say, the basement is on hold, therefore the LARGE tank is on hold. We both want a large tank in the basement, like 100-150gal but its gonna be a while.


----------



## Amie (Sep 15, 2010)

LMAO we're all big tank pushers here!!! I'd totally go the bigger the better too. I have 2 55's now and am hoping to upgrade at least one of them this summer.


----------



## mfgann (Oct 21, 2010)

*looks at his 30G and feels inadequate* 

*r2


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

its not the size of the tank that matters, its how you stock it*laugh out loud


----------



## susankat (Nov 15, 2008)

Yeah, right now my 220 has about 60 fish, 40 cories, 5 clown loaches, a few guppies and 2 clown plecs. Not stocked very well as I sold a bunch of the fish that were in it, and moved some to breeders. Now to get some RAINBOWS.


----------



## mfgann (Oct 21, 2010)

I love rainbows. My wife isn't so crazy about them. She likes the vividly colored fish. I had an aussie rainbow a long while back (before I knew better, no friends and in a 30G  )

Good luck with them


----------



## majerah1 (Oct 29, 2010)

Colorful fish are over rated,lol.My macs are wonderful but they are drab compared to the domestic long finned bettas.No one understands why i like my mud colored fish so much,lol.Its cuz they have personality.That is what counts.


----------



## jrman83 (Jul 9, 2010)

Cash to leave the military......hmmmmm, did I miss out on something?

With big tanks comes big cost for things like filtration, substrate, etc.. I bought both of my 125s with stands for roughly $600 each and spent more than that on each just for filtration...and they only have one filter a piece right now. Soon to be two. Things like 180lbs of eco-complete can add up, not to mention cost of plants.

Anyway, if you have big tank dreams go for it. To be honest, if I had to do all over again I'd be looking into 90g and 40g breeder tanks and would have half dozen of those or so. I'm going to get a 40g breeder this Summer I think. The larger breeder tanks are awesome. They are not as tall, so they are wider and deeper from front to back. When you reach into it you don't have water at your armpit.


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

> Cash to leave the military......hmmmmm, did I miss out on something?


It was called a RF or Reduce Forces. Basically they were making cutbacks in the military. They pick a graduation year, my husband was July 98. and they say ok we are going to cut this many.. for his group it was 44 out of 77 soldiers. then you get 2 choices. They offer you 2 years pay or you can wait and see if you make it through the cut. We found that we liked it where we lived, our son who has special needs was doing great in school, we bought a house... so We decided to leave active duty and get 2 years pay, after taxes it came to $145K, and my husband decided to go into the reserves, so he can continue to serve in the military. It took him 4 months to find a civilian job, thats where the money came in handy, especially with Christmas. He found a job but its in New Mexico, he starts on the 4th. He will come home every other weekend to visit and to do his reserves job here in Colorado. His new boss even said that when he has to do his 2 weeks for the reserves they will also pay him and not charge him vacation time, which is awesome. Luckily they have an office here in Colorado that hopefully my husband can transfer to.


----------



## oodles (Jan 2, 2011)

danilykins said:


> You hear of crazy cat lady... how about crazy fish lady? lol


That's so funny because I decided a few years back that I was just going to be the crazy fish lady. I've been looking around my house saying, "well if I remove this lamp and the pictures of my kids, I can easily fit a nice 15 gallon next to the couch." and "who needs two end tables in my bedroom, a 10 gallon would be simply lovely over there". My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy, but I've never had a hobby and I'm enjoying watching all of my babies swimming around.

I know this is weird, but I actually enjoy doing water changes and I find it relaxing listening to the water pump humming and the trickling of the water flowing out of the power filter. I don't watch TV, so this is my form of entertainment.


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

Hubby and I were discussing possibilities today. I was explaining to him, that he has his games, and I have my fish. He knows I want a larger tank. In our home we have a 3/4 wall separating the kitchen from the sitting/living room and we are going to remodel the kitchen eventually. He was talking about removing part of the wall and putting a custom tank in the wall (kinda like a window between the living room and the kitchen, but a tank) That would look soooo nice but I would lose cabinet space if we did that.


----------



## oodles (Jan 2, 2011)

That would be beautiful! I'm just so impatient, I would be like, "well we both know the remodeling won't be done for several months, why don't we just get another one and start to cycle it, this way when we get the built in one, we can just add the cycled filter media in the new tank we can start filling the tank up. Of course dear, you'll get to pick the first 2 fish and you can even name them after your two favorite football, baseball whatever sports he likes, stars." LOL. This is no way advise on how to do it, it's just me thinking and being silly. :fish5:


----------



## bmoore09 (Nov 20, 2010)

Craiglist is the way to go. I recently got into the hobby and upgraded from a 10g to a 30g. I got the tank, nice stand, hood (with light), filter, heater, and gravel for $35. I was going to the sellers house expecting it to be in bad shape..but it was perfect. Here it is:

30 gallon


----------



## danilykins (Dec 22, 2010)

yeah I have been checking out Craigslist daily. There are some tanks on there but not exactly what I am looking for or the price I am looking for. I answered a listing for some guppies and never got a response :/ so I'll keep looking


----------



## snail (Aug 6, 2010)

oodles said:


> That's so funny because I decided a few years back that I was just going to be the crazy fish lady. I've been looking around my house saying, "well if I remove this lamp and the pictures of my kids, I can easily fit a nice 15 gallon next to the couch." and "who needs two end tables in my bedroom, a 10 gallon would be simply lovely over there".


Lol, I've been eying up our bed side tables! We already got a smaller TV so we could fit in the new 90 gallon.


----------



## chris oe (Feb 27, 2009)

When my husband saw that the tanks were starting to make a march on the house, first he got me the 55 for the dining room with a nice furniture stand, then we went to Sam's Club and got a bunch of those heavy duty metal shelves (the ones for shops with the many hundreds of pounds weight limit per shelf?) and set me up my "fish room" (more like a fish corner) in the basement with extra outlets and a huge air pump to run all the sponge filters and all (but I did all the plumbing and learned how to cut threads in pvc for the taps to get air to all the tanks) and now we are quite content. We have our lovely display tank upstairs and I can do all my breeding and whatnot downstairs in the fish room and the tanks aren't taking over every room in the house. Marriage is compromise.


----------



## snail (Aug 6, 2010)

Oh for a basement....


----------



## beaslbob (May 29, 2009)

snail said:


> Oh for a basement....


+1


Every house had one in my home town of des moines Iowa back in the 60's. 

but all the houses I have lived in since joining (and retiring from) the air force (mainly down south also) were just slab on grades.

my .02


----------



## snail (Aug 6, 2010)

You should try living in an apartment block!


----------



## syddriver (Sep 27, 2010)

I say go for the larger tank! I started with a 10 gallon and now have a 60 gallon, 36 gallon and a 26 gallon. Addicting for sure!!!


----------



## chris oe (Feb 27, 2009)

snail said:


> Oh for a basement....


If you live in the frozen north, in tornado country, you don't skip the basement, lol. No, you make the basement as entertaining as possible, 'cause during the summer you might spend some evenings down there. ; )


----------

